Love is becoming a big pain in my ass recently, Like I don’t understand how people can throw it away or treat it like it’s not fragile at all. Love is everything but tough, like you only have to tap the glass to crack it, it’s so easy to mess up so why do we mess up? Why do we say things we don’t mean?
Let’s talk about how we mess up, the smallest little difference in the way you say something or type it could be what triggers the feeling of losing a person, like “Why didn’t he put kisses at the end of that text? Is he breaking up with me?” Like we over react to these things because we all just want perfection from one another and it can be that easy, it really can as long as you know and understand how fragile it is to break. I act on impulse a lot, I get overwhelmed by my feelings and emotions and I lash out sometimes and don’t particularly think about what I’m saying or doing and this comes back onto me, trust me it does.
I’ve had love a couple times and it’s great it really is, having someone you care for so much and trust and just want to put your life into and I feel that way currently about someone and she is more than what I could ask for in someone, she makes me laugh, she makes me happy, I feel comfortable and calm by her and I’m very willing to give her my world if she was ever willing to accept it.
I’ve hurt people I love a few times and I can’t help but think about how I never actually meant to do that? I thought I was the one being hurt which is why I tried to stop it by hurting them… This wasn’t the case at all, I was just being irrational and blowing everything out of proportion and I made them lost their feelings for me.
Here’s where I’m different to most others because I’ve been hurt numerous times by people I love yet I don’t hold their actions against them? I am still in love with them and still want to be perfect for them regardless of all the bad stuff they have done… Whether it’s cheating on me or a petty argument, I don’t let that fire inside me for that person die because they lost their way, I refuse to give up or quit, I want them to be happy and see that I want to make them happy and that I’m sorry if I caused them to lose their way.
Anyway it’s hard loving someone, It’s hard loving someone who doesn’t love you back, It’s hard loving someone who stopped loving you cos you hurt them and it’s hard loving someone who keeps hurting you but one thing you have to remember is that you’ll be okay eventually, whether that person leaves your life or you leave them, I don’t think there is much of an option in the way of staying around each other sadly.
But you never know do you? Like feelings can return, people can change and everything can be perfect, there is always that chance.