A Boo’s Survival Guide – Chapter 2: Decisions, decisions, decisions.

To have something amazing taken away from you for the sake of silly arguments and saying things neither of you meant, It’s terrible really because what me and Hannah had was something I’ve never had with anyone and I imagine she thinks the same because it was really special and I think we really work and click as two people who found each other when they needed someone most.

Her mindset has changed, she has given up on what we had but would like to just keep the memories of it but I can’t accept that, I don’t think she has given up, I think she just refuses to fight for what she wants and she isn’t willing to fight for it, maybe she will one day and she claims that she could change her feelings again one day and they could I guess but maybe she is saying this to try and give me some hope so she can keep me around, but what if it’s too late? I don’t want it to be too late because I want her, I want everything she stands for and does because she is perfect to me and yea we made some mistakes and said some things we shouldn’t have but we have both had time to just be apart and understand how good it was and how good it can be.

We shared an amazing hug, a hug I’ll never forget and it’s what proved to me that we are amazing and the bad stuff that has happened in the past month or so has meant very little to me cos the moment I hear her voice it’s literally like nothing else matters to me, I know she fully agrees how good that hug was and how good the next one can and will be and I can’t even imagine if we kissed… That would be something else entirely, Jesus.

She is everything to me and I know we can be happy together because our love was our friendship set on fire and it was the most amazing thing to ever experience with someone because best friends make the best couples.

I have to make a decision though… What do I do? Knowing I can’t change her mind or convince her? Do I accept that I will just be her friend and watch her move on? Do I be her friend and watch her fall in love again with me? Do I just cut and run because the heartache is too much? one thing I do know is that I am not a quitter and to have her sit there and tell me she doesn’t want us, It just goes straight over my head cos I believe that all she needs is to see me physically again and hug me and she will be mine again because I have that power over her physically, she knows I have this power over her and I guess all I can do is hope she sees me and let’s me show her physically that we are perfect and that all she is doing is throwing away what could well be her forever and my ever after.

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