Love is strange, its full of all kinds of wondrous things and me and Hannah were no exception to this, Personally what we shared at the time was near perfect and I’d give anything to have it all back but its further now than ever and it wouldn’t be fair on her to keep trying really because she has given up so all I would manage to achieve is annoying her.
We always talked about meeting and how special it would be and how we would just be so happy and excited and we always spoke about how we would stay up all night and cuddle and it was honestly like those cute fantasy ideas of perfection people have and the unfortunate part about all this? This would have been true. How do I know this? Because of that Hug.
28th May 2017, this was the day I was finally going to become a real living person to Hannah and show her that what she felt and what I felt was very real and very perfect and man, I walked up behind her, put my arms around her waist and whispered “Guess Who?” In her ear and man, she was so stunned by it, it took her like 10 seconds to realize who it was and what was happening but when she did, she just turned around and leaped at me and at that moment I knew that me and her were going to be something amazing.
If you’ve read my previous posts, you’ll know that we aren’t something amazing anymore, I don’t feel wanted anymore and I deserve this, she will move on and find someone else and how I deal with this I really can’t say but for her sake I’m going to just bite the bullet and block out any feelings I have because I want her to be happy and I couldn’t do that and I’ll never get the chance to relive what we had.
That hug, was amazing, it was everything I had hoped for and more and I know she agrees with me deep down, I know if we could have what we had back I’m sure she would take that chance but she does give up quite easily and refuses to fight for anything so its not going to happen, but that’s okay, she will be okay, I’ll be okay.
Who knows… One day I might get to have her and call her mine again, until then what we had will have to become a distant memory.