It’s been a while since I wrote on here, a lot has happened in the last week or so, most of it bad, some of it good and it all boils down to Hannah.
Me and her have been so good to each other but we have also been extremely bad to each other at times but I’d say with only the last month being bad between us cos of feelings getting involved, We have had a very good track record of being amazing friends, although our friendship caused us both to fail in a relationship because we had feelings for each other, fast track to now and its like we are about to become perfectly good strangers.
I’m completely lost with where and how to take anything she has said or says to me now cos she used an example that has put so much doubt in my mind about everything she has said.. Maybe that’s just my Anxiety playing up but she said something that put me in the position of either do what she says or just drop her and either one could hurt me and the knock on effect this will have will be HUGE. Like all I see now is the end of an amazing friendship and a lost chance at love all because we fell in love, wires got crossed, I didn’t control my feelings as well as I could have and she hasn’t been completely open and honest about them.
So why is it hard? Because we prided ourselves on proving the world that a guy and a girl can in fact be friends and only friends and we completely failed at that when she decided to tell me she loved me which when I think back about, I wish she had never told me that now, I wish I could go back to how we were but I have very little hope of that and like people say, All good things must come to and end and if not now, later at some point down the line, I’m going to not only lose my best friend but also the girl I love.
My advice? If you can honestly help it, avoid getting feelings involved, even if you love him or her, just don’t mention it, keep it to yourself, don’t miss out on a perfect friendship because you want more, I’m gonna learn this the hardest way possible and it’s going to suck but it’s just the way it is.